So we havent really been DATING DATING for about a year and a half

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I started to date this girl from my home town (we went to the same high school) my senior year of high school (i know an imature age still), went great that whole year, i mean this girl is AMAZING i havent met anyone like her, she is extremely smart, funny, loving, caring, and DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, she rides horses, is becoming a vet, she knows me better than i know myself, if we are on the phone she can ALWAYS tell if something is on my mind, yeah and i'll admit she is my first LOVE and one of my best friends......... but we got REALLY REALLY serious that year. Our families are all good friends, my mom and her mom still hang out till this day, she knows all my relatives and i know a good deal of hers, and wouldnt you know it WE DRIVE THE SAME DAMN CAR even SAME COLOR. One problem..... i was a year ahead of her in school, so eventually i had to leave for college while she stayed and finished her senior year. This wasnt good, cause i was going to college about 3 and 1/2 hours away and she worked all the time. Then she went to college, in the oppisite direction, which i am very proud of how she is doing there. We dated for about a year and a half more but not as serious. We didnt really have a reson for breaking up, the distance was just really hard for her and she got lonely.
So we havent really been DATING DATING for about a year and a half and yeah i still find myself stuck on her the same way i have always been since DAY ONE that i realize i loved her, even after i have hooked up with other girls and have tried to forget about her......She just means TOO MUCH TO ME, and has had too much of an impact on my life.
We ALWAYS KEEP in touch ( sometimes EVERYDAY, and into hours in the night before bed even). She currently is living at the beach for the summer, and started dating some guy from where she goes to school regularly, and wouldnt you know it he lives at the beach too. She says it isnt serious, she doesnt see it going anywhere and for me not to worry about it, but just the fact that she is with another guy worries me(pisses me off is more like it, i would like to bash this guys face in, and i dont even know him). I cant really do anything about it except tell her i understand that she felt lonely and needed something. (I STILL HAVE FAITH) I actually talked to her today and she said that her and the guy have been fighting like cats and dogs (cause of the fact that she still cares about me, and hasnt written me off and he is getting jealous she stills talks to me and is coming up for my birthday in a month) When we dated we NEVER faught if we did it was over real soon, (AGREE AGREE AGREE ;-)).
I have realized and told her that she is everythign i have ever wanted in a girl and i want her back. But now is not the time we live too far away to get serious (thats what she always says but distance is nothing to me and i have told her that (we live about 5 hours away during the reg semester)). During a convo one day, i got mad and she said i made her feel like shit, asked her why she felt that way since she had a great new bf and it wasnt like she would ever consider me again. What does she say? (VERBATIM) "THAT IS NOT TRUE(that she wouldnt consider me again), the only thing wrong with everyone else is that they are not you".... She recently went to this big music festival where one of OUR favorite bands played for 2 nights, it was the first time she had seen them WITHOUT ME, she said it was hard to see them without me. But guess who went with her, THE BF. He didnt even stand with her when she made her way to the front row (you know damn right i would of been right beside her) I told her it was hard knowing she went to see the band without me and with some other guy. I have told her just because we havent dated in a while doesnt mean it has to be over forever, she AGREED!!! I also told her if she ever falls i will be there to catch her. Her current BF (prolly some ASSHOLE that doesnt even KNOW HER like i do) asked her if she still talks to me and she said yes, and he got all pissed, she told him if he ever says anything negative about me that she will WALK AWAY (stop dating him or whatever) Sorry i just keep listing the things i have said to her.... i even tell her i love her still.....but anyways All this still gives me hope that we can get back together maybe after i graduate in about a year and a half (hoepfully SOONER ;-)). I mean i have made mind up and i REALLY think i could happily spend the rest of my life with this girl IF i can GET HER BACK!!!

In July she is coming up for about 4-5 days for my birthday, she has a horse back where she goes to school, when she comes up to visit me i think i might take her horse back riding. Since i have been away at college she hasnt missed it yet...... wonder what her BF thinks about that HAHAHA ( I LOVE IT)!!! The last time i stayed with her (over night, for 2 nights) nothing happened (this was before her current bf) shot down, but i tried, i dont know if that was the right move or not, she thinks it will turn her into a slut " " since we arent together and i was leaving in a few days. Yeah i guess i see her point, but i wasnt just trying to get a piece of ass from her, i love the girl and i want to try to show it, i agree sex isnt a good way to show it in this cituation but hey.......

What can i do to show her that the guy she is with is not the right one for her and that i am, how can i remind her about what we had together and how perfect it was, how can i show her that i have grown up from when we use to date and that these feelings ARE REAL, how can i make her realize how much i love her, how can i make her like the fact that it wont be the same as it was the first time but BETTER, how can i get her back???

Sorry, this is probably hard to understand.....but as you can see i got it BAD..........

Please get back with me Soon
M* V* Advice
Sounds like you got it good....

She still communicates with you regularly and makes you an important part of her life.

My advice is to NOT try to make a special impression on her or somehow downgrade her boyfriend. You already have it very good with her. Just be your naturally caring self and she will automatically feel close to you.

What is happening to you is typical of a long-distance romance and until you can get rid of that impediment you will just need to do the best you can.

Best of luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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