in other words I have no reason to be JEALOUS
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Okay, here is the situation. I am a 28 year old man and going back to college. Well, I met a 21 year old girl and became friends. I told my wife about it and she was okay with it because she knows I am not looking to cheat. This girl at college kissed me one day. I didn't know how to react, but something must have tipped her off because she said, you love your wife but I just had to know. I told my wife and she said she could understand why a girl would be attracted to me, because after all she (my wife) is attracted to me. Now fast foward to about 4 months later. The girl at college and I are still friends, she knows my wife now and they are actually good friends. She has even been over to our house for group get togethers. I feel almost like she is a little sister to me. Well this girl asks me the other day if I would invite a guy from class to a get together so she could get to know him better. She was all giddy school girl talking about him. Suddenly I was jealous. I really think the guy is a good guy, and told my friend so. I think they would be great together. I told her I would be happy to help the two of them get together. She must have sensed my jealousy though because she told me to forget it. She then got mad saying she had fallen for a married guy, realized nothing would come of it, had moved on and found a guy she was interested in who was NOT married, and now I was being selfish by not wanting her to be happy. I didn't know how to respond. She just looked at me, started crying and walked away. I haven't talked to her since, but my wife has, I don't know what they talked about and my wife won't tell me. All my wife has said is that she (my friend) needs time and to let things take their course. I am not trying to be selfish and not trying to be jealous. I love my wife, am not looking to cheat on her, want my friend to be happy, think the guy she has an interest in would be great for her...in other words have no reason to be JEALOUS. In fact I don't want to be jealous. But jealousy is kind of an irrational emotion. Is there any good way to resolve this?
RomanceClass.com Advice
Sounds like you have handled this very well.
It is very nice to be appreciated by a young woman, but you didn't fall for her which someone else could have done and wrecked their family.
Your jealousy was triggered by her liking another guy. This is a natural
reaction because you were enjoying her attraction to you. So you need to get over it.
The best way to get over jealousy is to attack it head on whenever and however it appears. Tell it to go away and stop bothering you. You may have to do this 100 times but eventually the jealousy will give up and leave you alone.
My compliments to your wife also... she has been right beside you in this.
Good luck!
George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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