The First Phone Call

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am a Latin American. I have met a nice japanese girl on the Internet for many months . I am glad to have met her. We have planned to use the phone. How should I start? should I use a poem? I think I was very romantic on the e mails. Should I keep on being on the phone as well? Can it be a 5 minutes OK? Advice
It's always both exciting and scary to move from stage to stage in a relationship. Going from on line to voice is one of those stages - you can't backspace over responses, you can't delay and think of an answer. The person is right there, on the phone.

I wouldn't try to be forced or fancy on the phone call. The crossover to phone is the first step in revealing each other as *normal real* people. In your normal life you probably don't go around reciting poetry every 5 minutes or being overly formal. So show her what you are REALLY like, your normal, happy, welcoming self. She'll feel much more at ease with you if she gets the sense that this is the "real you", and not that you're putting on an act to fool her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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