My Ex is Stalking Me
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
How do you get rid of comeone when you've told them you want out of the relationship? The person drives by my house at odd times, calls my house at odd times, and have tried to fight me several times. I am afraid because he is a family friend.
When someone can't accept a breakup, stalking is one thing that results. It's a way of him retaining control over you, being able to keep affecting your life. It is a way of making sure you can't forget him, that he is always there in your mind. And of course it's NOT healthy or nice.
You need to be clear with him on this. Tell him that he is no longer a part of your life, and that you're sorry, but you will not accept any further contact from him. Get caller ID on your phone and refuse to pick up when he calls. If he encounters you in person, make it clear that you have no interest in talking with you at all. If he's a family friend, it means even more strongly that he is ABUSING his role in your life by doing all of this. He shouldn't use that friendship as a shield. It further shows that he is not handling this well at all.
If he persists, I would seriously contact the police. Stalkers can be just annoying, or they can cross the line. Your primary concern has to be for your safety. What he is doing is Not Right. Let them know of your concern, and register a complaint. And then let him know that you have tried to be reasonable about this, but he has to STOP. At that point if he does call or harass you any further, just let the police know.
Yes, he's a family friend. But he does NOT have the right to harass you PERIOD. For him to keep it up despite your saying it's over is WRONG and it must STOP. You have the complete right to go on with your life. He does NOT have the right to harass you.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com