I'm still in love...with my ex-girlfriend. ...And I'm married
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I'm still in love...with my ex-girlfriend. ...And I'm married. But this isn't just the most recent "ex" right before I met my wife. This is an ex from years ago. I've never fallen out of love, I never got over her. And it was my fault that we broke up in the first palce. -I'm a cheater. Yes, I cheated on her with 2 other girls. (Technically 3, it's a long story.)
We kept in touch, the ex and I, for about 2 years afterwards but then we just stopped talking or emailing. But I have always been in love with her. I think about her all the time. I stare at her pictures that I've kept all this time. It's been about 5 years since we broke up. It's been about 2-3 years since we've even spoken. She really was incredible, the best you can imagine! And I'm not just talking about sex, but that too! We used to have all these romantic talks. And we would go walking in the mountains at night and just hold eachother and stare into eachothers' eyes. We had really good times. She gave up alomst everything for me, but that's a whole different story in and of it's self.
But I've been married for over a year now, and I feel really awful about this all. What should I do?? I really can't get over her, I've tried everything!
You really need to face the fact that it is over and done with.
You have a wife who needs your love and is hurt (even though she doesn't know it) by your obsession with a girl from long ago. My guess is that you still have feelings for that girl for the reasons you mentioned but also because you feel guilty about wrecking the relationship and all the sacrifices she made for you.
But, you have to fight against those old feelings. You can do it if you put you mind to it. It may be true that she was better for you than your wife is, but bite the bullet and put the past into the past. Some things just can't be undone.
And, if you happen to know that your ex is now in a happy relationship, you should feel happy for her and be happy to leave thoughts of her behind.
It might be helpful to go to a professional counselor or even go with your wife to a marriage counselor. You have a serious problem that needs dealing with.
My best wishes are with you!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com