I get ONE kiss with her. One kiss to try and prove the passion.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I had been dating a girl for 9 months. She is a musician, and music is a huge part of her life. I knew her in high school, but nothing really happened between us back then. Last summer, however we found ourselves making out in her back yard until 4 am almost every night. She has told me that this was a very exciting experience.
For the past three weeks, she has been performing in a music festival 700 miles away. When she left, things were good. Not great, but good. She had told me a few times that there was something missing between us, and I had made serious attempts at fixing things. Things like having deeper conversations, like about what she wants in the future, and religious things.
After being at the festival for about a week, she started to change. Little things, she didn’t say that she missed me…stuff like that.
This festival where she is performing offers her so many thing that she usually doesn’t get; she can be moved by great music, is spending time with friends that she has known for years, has free time to party, spends time on the beach…and has time to think about our future. She has come to the conclusion that I will not make her happy in the future because I can’t experience these things with her. I will never be able to understand why a particular piece of music makes her cry; I will not be able to sit down with her at the dinner table and talk music with her.
Don’t get me wrong, many times I have said, “I don’t know much about music, but please, tell me, let me learn.” But to this she says that she is on such a high level that it would take years and years to teach me these things, and besides, its an emotional thing, not a classroom thing.
Technically, she broke up with me a few days ago, but I talked to her on the phone today and said that I wanted to truth. She finally told me that she loves me, but was never in love with our relationship. And that since she had broken things off, She had met some “week-long” fling type thing down there, someone to spend a little time with, and she has told me that she has made out with him, but that she is not interested in a serious relationship with him. She also told me the very painful words that the first kiss with this new kid was more passionate than any kiss that we had ever had.
Here is the bottom line. I love the hell out of this girl, we had lost contact after high school, but the moment I saw her again I thought that she would be the one that I spend the rest of my life with. I have a crazy deal set up with her. She has agreed, that if I give her time to think about things while she is down there, and I don’t call her, that when she gets back in a week, we will sit down and have a very serious talk. AND that I get ONE kiss with her. One kiss to try and prove the passion.
I need to set something up amazing to show her this passion. My thoughts are that I just meet her, at her apartment, and tell her that its not fair that I would kiss her so I wont, but then ask her to go for a walk, at some park somewhere, and then just out of the blue grab her and kiss her like I have never kissed her before, literally.
I need some other thoughts though, sure, in a week, maybe emotions on both sides will have changed, but I am going to assume that they haven’t.
Thank you for any advice you may give me in advance.
She seems to be setting you up for a fall.
She equates passion with music and see you as musically deficient and therefor not passionate. And, perhaps you are not the passionate type either.
In either case, trying to draw up a scenario where you can surprise her with a passionate kiss is not destined to turn out well, in my opinion. It would be surprising if she would consider any kiss to be passionate enough or sincerely passionate.
On the other hand, I could be completely wrong and my advice is to go ahead with some plan to give her a passionate kiss and hope for the best.
My hope is that she will return with different feelings and not try the passionate kiss. Otherwise, give it all you've got!
My best wishes are with you!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com