Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My Finance checked out of Phoenix recovery center about 3 weeks ago. We moved quickly to get a place together as soon as she checked out. Which I realize goes against everything she learned as far as making big decisions.
Previously to her checking into rehab we had just gotten back together after a 9 month separation in which time she was dating her dealer. Her drug or variable was marijuana, which had afflicted her life long before I met her. We have been on and off for about three years, and our relationship has been put through a battery of lies. I know I care deeply for her, but have learned she lies pathologically. She is a former prostitute and fear that in relapsing she will return back to that type of work.
Currently I have no idea what my next step should be. I had moved out yesterday under the impression that we were moving too fast and made a mistake moving in together too soon. It was supposed to be for the greater good of our relationship. I was not the one who initiated that decision. It only came about after I had confronted her about discovering phone calls and e-mail were being exchanged between her and the drug dealer ex bf. She said that it made her feel uncomfortable that i snooped and that we need to take things slow in order to make the most of it. Last night I went back as a result of a gut feeling and discovered that he was at the apartment.
I donít know what to do, I know I care about her, I have no idea how to help her. Is it even worth it, or will I just continue to get hurt. I realize that isnít something that you can absolutely tell me.
We are not professional counselors, and I think you need to talk with one.
Get your local phonebook and find some numbers to call.
If you can't afford a counselor, here is a webpage with free help centers:
My advice about the girl is to dump her... she is untrustworthy and will only give you pain... do you want that for the rest of your life?
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com