he said he doesn't think he can love anyone ever again because he was so hurt.
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I think I like my boyfriend much more than he likes me. I'm 17, he's 19. We've been together 2 months and he's the first guy I've really ever cared about. I'm not his first though, he had a two year relationship with a girl and was really hurt by her. We recently had a long talk and he said he doesn't think he can love anyone ever again because he was so hurt. I felt a bit hurt by this because I'm starting to care for him quite a bit (even though I'm not in love) and he also said he thinks he's not emotionally ready for sex or anything. He's great though, we get on really well. Have I met the right guy at the wrong time (for him anyway)?
It feels like I'm always the one making the effort to arrange to meet up as well. I think he takes me for granted a bit too. He's in a band and I always try to go to his gigs and support him. I'm not in anything where he could come and publicly support me, and I don't feel like he does it in other ways.
Sometimes I see him looking at other girls over my shoulder, even when we're kissing. Am I just being jealous? He tells me about famous women that he finds attractive. I don't mind this really, but sometimes it makes me feel a bit rubbish in comparison. I think I set too high standards for myself. Sometimes he says things that make me feel like he's trying to change me as well. Like that I should curl my hair and wear skirts because it looks more feminine... this isn't me at all... I have straight hair and I live in jeans. I really need some tips on how to improve my relationship please :) Thanks.
There has to be give and take for a relationship to work.
It seems that he is doing all the taking and you are doing the giving.
Try compromising... you choose something that you really want him to do and he can choose something he really wanst you to do. If each of you agree to the compromise then you'll both the happy.
Don't let him use his ex as an excuse for too long. It takes a while but not forever to get over a past love.
Talk, talk, talk... very important part of a relationship. Do it every chance you get. It doesn't have to be serious stuff all the time but it should include serious staff.
Hope this works out for you!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com