we haven't really defined where we are and I'm horrible at being able to bring up such a subject

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Well I've been seeing this girl for roughly about 2 weeks now. Just as of last weekend we became sexually active with one another (note: this is the first girl I've actually stuck around after.. sex..). Finally found someone worthwhile and wish to invest more of my time into 'us'. I just don't know where I'm at in the relationship phase, we haven't really defined where we are and I'm horrible at being able to bring up such a subject.

For a little more inside information, we spent probably 40+ hours with each other last weekend. I am curious though, on our very first outing, she had recieved a phone call and even though I tried to block it out, I remember hearing "I'll probably be done around 1.", well we didn't get finished until around 2. And a week after, (the night after our intimacy) she had another phone call and asked that I pull over, I did and she talked for roughly one half-hour, while I waited. I didn't really mind, but it was inappropriate. Asked if things were ok, she had a cold look upon her and asnwered, "Yes". Later in the day, she explains that she had just broken up a week before we met, and it was her ex saying how hurt he was, and they she didn't want him calling anymore. Now was that lapse in confession, just enough time to come up with an ellaborate scheme to cover what actually went on? She's apologized several times thereafter, for the phone occurance. This scares me a little bit, as I don't know the truth to the matter besides what she says, and trust in others has never been my strong suit. I am trying though.

She made the first phone call, when we exchanged numbers. Attempeted to hold my hand first. I initiated the first kiss, and sex was mutual. She was uneasy about me meeting her parents at first, as she lives with them and seems to rush around me when within a close proximity of them.

I'm just so lost and in dire need of some guiding light to shed some light on my path of ignorance. It's the first time I've been attracted to anyone, and I don't wish to lose it. My heart is literally on the line with this gamble.

Should I wait and see how she acts when my birthday comes and determine where this is heading and bring it up? How would I go about bringing up? Obviously I had more then one question, but any help would be mcuh appreciated.

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RomanceClass.com Advice
You've got a good thing going.

But you lack an important quality... the ability to communicate with a close female friend. You have to work very hard at this as it is a very important personal characteristic and without it very few relationships can survive. I noticed that you were quite communicative in your email so you CAN do it.

Trust is another very important thing in a relationship. I would advise that you trust her when she tells you things.

Tell her that you are not very good at communicating but that with her you feel the need. This will make her feel good and she will be happy to work with you to learn the skill. Hint: a lot of it is honesty and friendship.

Good luck!
George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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