Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 2 years now, we started dating at the end of our senior year in high school. Things have been going well...we've had our ups and downs but have always stayed strong. Anyway, i have finished my 2 years of community college and moving down south to go to a four year school. I am very goal orientated and know what i want to do and accomplish in life. My boyfriend on the other hand, has been a little slow trying to find what he wants to do with himself. In the past two years he has registered for college classes and has failed to complete them. So i am already two years ahead of him school wise.
basically my question is that i'm moving down to san diego, my boyfriend is doing the same because he wants to be near me. we are not living together because i told him, first of all that i wasn't ready to and i wanted to experience college life by living on campus. So in the long run, he wants to move down there with his friends and go to the community college so we can be close to each other.
i love my boyfriend a whole bunch, but i'm scared he'll get in the way of me wanting to experience "college life". The last 2 years most of my friends moved away to various colleges so i really haven't had the drive or want to have a social life. Now i'm moving away and planning to hang out with people other than my boyfriend. he already gets kinda upset when i go out without him so i'm afraid with my new commitments to school and a social life i won't spend as much time with him as he would like. What do you think i should do? i don't want to break up with him and i also don't want him to feel as if i'm ignoring him because i'm making other commitments. ugh. if only he was going to the same school it would be much easier because we would have similar schedules. Advice
Unfortunately there is a chance that he will want to monopolize your life.

You need to have frequent discussions on this topic where you can respectfully, lovingly, honestly, and deeply address the issue. It is very important that he respects your wishes and allows you to enjoy a college experience.

He is already disrupting your life by wanting to live down there. If you can tactfully convince him to stay where he is, you would be a lot happier. But I doubt if he would go along with that idea.

My best wishes are with you!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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