I'm scared if I confront her she'll feel as though I'm obsessed with her in a bad way
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
This question begins with a story which began at this time last year. My girlfriend of two years and I broke up because she was going to college and didn't think that our relationship would work out. Although I was dissapointed I accepted her emotions. During the next few months we were still very close and played a game of cat and mouse trying to chase each other, but to no avail. At first I wanted to move on, then I wanted her back. Through this all, she managed to meet her current boyfriend, which they have been on and off over the past year.
When I found out about her new boyfriend I played the natural jealous ex. I degraded him, and in turn I absolutley ruined any sort of relationship I could have had with her. She made it very clear that she had already moved on and felt nothing for me. Naturally I found this very frustrating but told myself I would not talk to her from there on out.
During the course of the past year I have tried extremely hard to move on with my life. I've seen other women and I've changed as a person. I look back on what I did to her and her new boyfriend and I sometimes cringe at my arrogance. However, if there is one thing I've learned over the past year is I did not miss being loved, I miss her. Every day over the past year my emotions for her grow stronger, and every time I see her or bump into her I literally tremble. I see so much in her and I can say honestly for the first time I am head over heels in love with this girl. I've tried other women but none can compare to the one I had.
I want to tell her this more than anything. I want to believe that over the past year her feelings of anger towards me have passed, but I just don't know if they have. I'm scared if I confront her she'll feel as though I'm obsessed with her in a bad way; or she'll reject me... which is the most likely scenario. I've spoken to some of her friends who tell me she's very happy now and she has no feelings for me. My logic is telling me to keep doing what I'm doing and eventually I'll find someone better, but my emotions are telling me that this girl is the love of my life.
I guess my quesiton is what should I do? I want to lay it all on the line, but I dont' want to interfere with her life. This hurts so bad for me that when I see her I miss her so much it literally hurts to breathe. I can't stop thinking about this girl, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am truly in love. Please help me with my situation because I'm all out of ideas.
You sound more like you are obsessed rather than in love. Not positive what the difference is, but obsessed is a bad thing.
You are really in this so deep that I can't offer you much to help you. You have thought it all through, done all the right things but to no avail.
My advice is to seek professional counseling and spend enough time to try to fix this problem before you worry yourself sick.
I would also advise NOT telling your ex about your feelings... you are so overwrought that you could not do anything but turn her away.
Sorry you are in this situation!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com