I have the best time with him...and he's the nicest person I've ever met
Visitor's Question from a 51-60 year old Female
I joined an online game in January. I have met several people in-game who have become friends. I found myself spending more and more time with one guy.....we joke around, and I have the best time with him...and he's the nicest person I've ever met, I have spent many hours watching him trying to help people in the game, for nothing, simply because it makes him happy.
I fell in love with him, before I realized it was even possible. I've written down a history of events that have occured between us, with some of our conversations. What caught my eye was when he suddenly jumped to the conclusion that I was leaving his "group" of players....he started giving me what sounded like prepared speeches about how he wished me well when I left. I said, "it almost sounds as if you are eager for me to leave." He replied, "no, scared" "Scared???????!" "scared, anxious, and nervous"
Since that time, he's told me over and over again that he doesn't want me to leave, but he keeps getting more and more distant, and recently, he showed signs of pushing me away....all while still telling me that he doesn't want me to leave.
I won't go into the entire history, it would take too long....but analysing what I wrote, I have to admit that his behavior has become very erratic, is very conflicted, and is extremely difficult to explain....unless I jump to the conclusion that he's fallen in love with me, and thinks I don't feel the same way, and doesn't know what to do about it. I tried very hard to get him to sit down and talk to me, but he just kept acting frightened out of his mind, and handing me plattitudes.
I'd pursue it more aggressively....at least get an answer one way or another.....except for one thing.....while he is an adult, mid 20s, he's half my age.
I don't know what to do at this point. I am very much in love with him, but because of the age difference, I have been careful to keep it a secret. It is not at all impossible that he is doing the same....but if he won't talk to me, what alternatives do I have? I don't want to suddenly declare myself, I'm too afraid that might push him away instead.
Any suggestions would be welcome.
A*, age 53
It's hard to say what is going through his mind.
As you said, he is giving conflicting messages to you.
My advice is to let him know you care for him. Tell him you are starting to have feelings for him and ask how he feels about you.
Oh, and don't put off telling him your age. It might make a difference to him and it is better to find out now rather than later.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com