How do I get over this getting jealous over my partner's use of yahoo messenger?
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
How do I get over this getting jealous over my partner's use of yahoo messenger? We get in so many fights over it, it's not funny! This morning I did something really low and rude, I opened up his account and a woman had IM'd him with the message "I miss you" and a hug icon so I sent one back ( under his id ) with a nasty reply. I do feel really bad about doing that, not to mention the hell that's going to come when he opens his account up and she writes him back and tells him or asks him why "he" said what he did to her.
I find myself glancing over at him repeatedly, to see if he is "there" in yahoo, I hate that! It's just something he does to pass the time and he gets something from flirting with these woman on line, he doesn't hide it ( he gave me his password ) from me, and he always tells me he loves me and that that is just fun stuff he does with them online, like looking at their webcams ( wich I also have a hard time dealing with )
I see where some womsn with this problem approach their guys and they get appologies and such. Not with mine, he says that I have a problem with jealousy and that I am trying to change him and that he should just get rid of his computer because I won't let him do anything on it, I just thought I could use an outside opinion as to wether I really need to stop what I'm doing, If I am overly jealous, I don't want to ruin this relationship.
If he is treated you well don't worry about it.
Many men enjoy flirting on the Internet (women too). It makes them feel young and attractive. Be happy he is doing this in front of you and not behind your back.
It seems that he is attentive to you and treats you well most of the time and you should be thankful for that.
This is not to say that his behavior is desirable, because it hurts you. But, it is a small thing. He is not doing drugs, sneaking out with other women, he's not an alcoholic and he doesn't hit you. Many women have to deal with those problems and worse.
My advice is to let him have his minor misbehavior and be thankful it's not anything worse. But, don't let him get completely out of hand and spend too much time on the Internet.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com