But i dont want to give up on him and i dont think i ever will
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I am totally completely in love with my ex boyfriend and i seriously don't know why i broke up with him in the first place. Actually, i do know; it just had nothing to do with US, which is what makes me so mad. I'm not one of those typical blonde cheerleaders that most guys would go for but my ex boyfriend happened to be our school's basketball/football stud and somehow he fell in love with my "goofiness and sense of humor," according to him. So basically all the girls wanted to be with him and all the guys wanted to BE him, while i was the one who everyone enjoyed being around so when we got together it was just perfect and everyone envied us. They envied us SO much that they even tried to split us. Girls would come up to me and tell me he's flirting with other girls and hanging out with them on weekends when hes not with me, so i accused him so many times for something he didnt even do and we got into stupid fights because of some dumb lies people have been spreading around. In the end there was this one girl, "LIZ", whom i became really close with within my relationship with my ex, and she was constantly on my ear telling me i could to so much better and that my ex wasn't mature enough for me and this relationship could never get anywhere serious. The thing is, i didn't ask for anything serious. My ex was just as goofy as i was, and i loved how we were always so playful and active. But somehow Liz convinced me into breaking up with him and i have never seen a guy so mad/sad at the same time it broke my heart and regret doing it at the moment. BUt i also wanted to explore what was out there for me and i told him exactly that. I also told him i still liked him a lot and it was nothing he did wrong, and he was very understanding about it. He said he liked me a lot too, but was mad that i didn't see how much he liked me, and that just totally made me feel so happy because he was someone i've been wanting to be with for such a long time and when we did, i didn't expect him to grow that kind of feelings for me. It was just so unexpected but relieving at the same time. So after the break up we were on our own but still flirting and all over each other. Just not holding hands and kissing. Everything seemed the same until one day, i noticed he was getting real close with LIZ. I knew they had couple classes together but i have never seen them walk around and talk so much before. Eventually, he started to like LIz and they got together and my world shattered. IT SEEMED SO UNFAIR. This girl first says my bf is NOT good enough for me and makes me break up with him, THEN she takes him away from me. I was so mad but i tried to act like i didn't care, but it was so obivous that i did because right after i heard they were together, i stopped talking to him and he asked me why but i just ignored him and soon he stopped asking me. I tried to date other guys to forget about him and once i even had sex with this really cute guy but my ex was always in the back of my head and i still wanted him so bad. i realized how much i loved him and i missed the times we shared so much. It just seemed like he didn't and thats what broke my heart even more. He seemed happy with Liz, but their relationship didn't seem as FUN as ours was. I was hoping that he would realize that but i was wrong. 2 months passed since we hadn't spoken to each other, but one day Liz and my ex broke up and somehow we started talking again. We caught up on a lot of things and finally it seemed like he was starting to miss being with me and one day he just said it, "although i was with Liz, i never got over you and i miss you." I told him i missed him too and we were both thinking aobut getting back together but at the moment it seemed too soon so we waited. After like 2 days, he called me one night and said he was SORRY. He said he still had feelings for Liz and he didn't know why. I asked him then why he would say all those things to me and he said he was just caught up in the moment. He said he had feelings for Liz but was trying to get over her because she didn't want to be with him no more. I was just sad and i started crying the whole week because i would see him trying to get back with her. But i made sure he didnt see me crying. That was like a wake up call for me telling me to forget about this jerk, he played me and broke my heart, but i hated the fact that i had to ignore him again so i just sat and talkd to him and we decided to be friends and i liked it that way. He said he was sorry, gave me a hug, and i wished him luck, but deep inside i knew i was just fooling myself but what else could i do? I had no power over his feelings, but i wish i did. This past week i just tried to focus on my friends and school, but two of my closest friends who also happend to be HIS closest friends came up to me and told me that he wasn't happy and that he missed me but was confused on what to do. He said that every sad song that came out in the radio reminded him of me, such as "Mr. Lonely" by Akon. They told me that he still liked me but i don't know if he's just saying that because things weren't working out with him and Liz. The tips on this website tell me to just live my life and show him that i'm having fun even without him, and i did, but it didn't seem like he wanted to be part of all that again. I have LOTS of friends, and we're always laughing and having a good time but he's not reacting to any of this and it makes me so sad because to be honest, i don't need all that, i just want him back. He's seen me flirt with other guys and even his basketball coach flirts with me but he still doesn't seem to react to any of this. He is the hardest thing i ever had to deal with, which makes me want him back even MORE. How can i make him notice me again and be jealous? Is he just hiding his emotions or does he REALLY NOT CARE ANYMORE? Please help i really love him so much and i KNOW for a fact that he still has feelings for me too, i just don't know how to make him decide between me and Liz. I still talk to him and flirt while i can, and often he would just stare at me and i just wish i knew what he is thinking but i dont and it drives me crazy by the day. SHould i just keep waiting?? its been more than 2 months and i'm tired of this game i just want it to end. But i dont want to give up on him and i dont think i ever will. PLEASE HELP!!! TELL ME WHAT TO DOO!!!!! I JUST WANT A SECOND CHANCE!!!
If you really love him, then you are the one playing games.
YOU broke up with him and broke his heart so don't expect him to come running back for more punishment. And don't try the game of making him jealous because it just confuses him.
If you really want him back, buck up your courage and your honesty and walk up to him and tell him that you have been thinking of him and the wonderful times you used to have and that you want to give it a try again. If he is negative then give him some more time (say two weeks) and try again.
You are goiing to have to work especially hard at being honest with him about how you feel. This doesn't mean you have to be super-serious when you talk to him because he wouldn't like that.
I wish you the best of luck!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com