my friends say that he's just keeping me around in case he doesn't find anyone else

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
To whom it may concern:
I have a problem. I am still in love with my ex. I want him back and we have been broken up for 6 months now/ He even moved 400 miles away for a year( he's coming back next year) He says he wants to be friends before we can be anything else, but my friends say that he's just keeping me around in case he doesn't find anyone else. He goes back and forth every week we talk on the phone, saying he would like to try things again, but he doesn't want to think about it right now because he isn't coming home for 6 more months at least. He has told me to start dating because he can't meet my needs right now. He is focusing on his career (that's why he moved)
We fought all the time, and I am not sure he wants me back for the right reasons. I worry all the time that he will find someone better than me. I date but it's because I want to meet people, my friends tell me to move on and forget about him, and I don't want to wait around. My ex boyfriend still thinks that I am to blame for most of our problems in our relationship. He doesn't like to think he does anything wrong. We still fight all the time when we speak, but he wants ot see if we can work out our differences. He tries to convince me we can work it out, but when I mencion it, he says for me to just "let it happen if it does, and if it doesn't, it doesn't.."
What should I do???
Helpless Advice
Stop the fighting.

This seems to be the thing that you can control for the moment. Two ways to stop fighting: agree with him; or say "I don't want to fight right now."

You really have to mean it or the fight will spring up again. If you really want him back, give up your enjoyment of fighting.

Keep talking with him on the phone and build a good relationship... based on honesty, trust, and respect. Keep this up and you will be in his heart again soon.

Hope this works out for you!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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