Long and confusing questiion
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Well, this is a confusing and long one, I apologize ahead of time.
I met this girl through a friend of a girl I once dated. We talked for a long time online and really got to know each other, but there was nothing at the time. A few months passed and she had gotten a boyfriend who lived far away. I thought nothing of it at the time. She kept a long distance relationship with him. A few more months passed with not much talking when one day I decided to talk to her again. This time we really hit things off. At the time, she was having problems with her boyfriend and I was there to comfort her whenever she needed. Things led to another, and before long we were sort of in a relationship, and without her boyfriend knowing. We would have gotten together, but she instisted on meeting me somewhere (even though, I would see her next year when I moved into the same school) So... an old friend and I decided to meet her and her cousin somewhere. Being the chicken I am, I didn't go and nothing happened... Big mistake, I just found out recently that she would have dumped him, and gone out with me, but she only wanted to get together because she wanted to know I was for real. We probably would have stayed together until now... Eventually her boyfriend found out that something was between us, and we stopped talking as much as we did.
Then I moved to her school and we met each other for the first time because we were on the same bus. Every day for the next two years, we talked on the bus, sometimes sitting next to each other. I acquired a nickname and have been dubbed as one of her best friends. At the same time, she's broken up with her long-distance boyfriend twice, and has gotten back together both times. Not until this year, have we been really talking as much as we did BEFORE we had our previous fling. More recently, she's just gotten over having her monthly, if not weekly, problem with the boyfriend, and I've been there to comfort her as best as I can. Sometimes we talk late into the night online, but no phone calls yet... I suppose thats commitment (something I lack). We've been making plans for the summer and what we'll do when we can drive to each other's places. She's hinted (or at least I think it is) to liking me a few times, but you can't sense much emotion from text, or know what girls really mean... I really love this girl, she is definately someone I could spend my life with, but I don't know how to approach it.
I guess what I'm doing now is just waiting until I get another opportunity... Just today she had another little quirk with her boyfriend. She's told me that she doesn't know why she puts up with his s***, just that she loves him. I don't know how to tell her how I feel.
Please help? I'm sorry my question was so long again and thanks in advance.
The next step is to start talking on the phone.
That way you can have more meaningful discussions and try to make some progress with your relationship.
Rather than tell her you love her and risk scaring her off, start off the subject by saying "I'm starting to have feelings for you." See what she says.
Don't put her in the position of cheating. She should make up her mind between her long distance romance and you. No problem with talking though.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com