Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have a question about my breakup with my girlfriend. First of all let me give some general info. We dated and lived together for four years and she is 8 years younger than me. We started dating when she was 20 and I 28. we got along very well together never argued or fought, I would say less than 5 times in 4 years and them were small. but I could tell something was changing near the end but thought we would always be together a probably get married. She always told her and my friends she loved me so much and wanted to marry me. Then she started going out a lot and one day she said she thought we should at least take a break because she was confused but never really told me about what. We both cried and held each other and she moved out with her younger sister but only signed a 6 month lease and didn't change her mail address. We would talk everyday and she would come and see me once a week at least for about 3 months and stay over but we didn't have sex. Then I was looking through her email because we ordered something and I wanted to see if they said it was shipped and I saw some emails to a couple guys saying she would call him later to do something and I was very hurt because I trusted her so much. I called her names didn't talk for a couple days then she said she loved me still but didn't want to be with me right now and she was dating someone else. I was very hurt and got mad again that she was with someone else and said some more mean things to her and said I never wanted to talk to or see her ever again and she said she didn't want to be with me anymore, but she didn't want us to hate each other. Then she asked me for something in a text message and said thank you. That was almost 3 months ago and I haven't heard from her. I sent her a email a week ago saying sorry for the mean things I said and that I was building a house this summer and I hoped she was well and happy, but she didn't respond. I don't think she cheated on me but I think she was hanging out with this guy and a couple others. I think she didn't want to stay with me without living more because she is young. I don't know if she hates me now because of the things I said and it killed the love she had but I still miss her very much and hope she comes back. Do you think she still loves me and is confused and might come back or is all hope lost? It seems to me I will never be with her again and that it would be wierd to see her after so long. I love her and want her back! Advice
All hope is not lost.

But... it is mostly lost. She is seeing other guys and hasn't communicated with you for a long time. That is a pretty definitive answer to your question.

To get her back, you need to be able to communicate with her. So that should be your first priority. Make it happen somehow. If you can get her to talk to you then you have a chance to work your way back into her heart.

Try to figure out what was missing from your relationship... this will be difficult without her assistance be you need to try anyhow. Work to change the problem areas. Even if you don't get her back, you will be a better person for someone else.

You could tell her that you want to work on your personal faults and that you would appreciate her insight. That might get you talking again.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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