He Broke Up by Text, Now He's Acting Strangely
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Hi this is quite a long story.
Basically this guy and I were mates then became really close mates where we spent practically every night texting and every day flirting when eventually I fell for him, asked him out and he said yes, then no the next day. I was upset but tried to forget whilst still liking him.
Months passed when he one day after we and all our friends were out he text me and told me he felt strongly attracted to me and liked me before but was scared of hurting our friendship. I assured him that if we broke up it wouldnt. So... we went out for exactly 3 weeks which were brilliant and then he texts me out of the blue saying he no longer fancies me when 2 days prior we were happy. I didnt reply and since then (5 mnths ago) he wrote me a cop out letter and we had arguments by text and now we rarely talk or ever text and everythings different. I feel like the bad one instead of him.
Anyhow what im wanting to know is what does his body language say now? I cant help but feel he was lying before when he finished it as i know he was as excited as i was - it doesnt add up.
Sometimes when im next to him, he'll stand with his back to me when other times I'll catch him glancing at me in class or when i pass him. He'll look away when I notice and i once saw his friend nudge him when I passed. He gets incredibly nervous and red faced when i talk, (if ever) to him and im sure he's hiding something.
Please help me! Thank you
It does sound like he still likes you, and the fact that he didn't break up with you face-to-face makes everything sound a bit odd. Friends turn into daters all the time. And yes, it can be a bit scary because you worry about losing the friendship. But just about everyone does it once or twice. So it's something most of us get through.
Maybe the idea of dating a friend just got to be too much for him, he was too worried about losing you. Which of course he ended up doing. In any case, as a friend OR a lover (or both) you deserved to get a reasonable, mature explanation out of him when he did decide to back off. What he did was neither.
So in any case, now you have to figure out how to move on. You were good friends before. I would invite him out for drinks as friends, now that some time has passed, and talk about it. Say you just want to get a handle on what actually happened at the end, because you want to be able to move up and on with your life. Those sorts of closures are important to all of us in order to become better people and not make the same mistakes. So ask him what you could have done differently, and don't take his cop-out evasions if he tries those. Even as a friend, you deserve a real answer.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com