3rd Grade Love at First Sight

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
How young can you be to fall in love? And how do you know if he was THE One. 8 Years ago when I was in 3rd grade, I met this boy. We got to really know each other through out the year. From the first momment I saw him I liked him. It was about 3 months after we had met in school that we were both in the class room and he asked me from across the room (nobody else was there) if I wanted to play a board game. I turned around and it was like lighting. As if I had closed my eye's and opened them and saw him in a different. Like I fell in love with him.

I only knew him for about a year then he moved away. We got pretty close, just as friends. I never heard or saw him since then, but I just have this feeling like he was THE One. I also found it a bit serendipity like that we both were born on the exact same day.

RomanceClass.com Advice
True love in the world doesn't come from what someone looks like. All that someone's outward appearance tells you is what they resemble in your own memory and history. That is, say you love Brad Pitt, you watch every movie he's ever been in, you dream about him day and night. And then this boy wanders into your school that looks EXACTLY like Brad Pitt. You will probably fall in love with him immediately without really knowing anything at all about what he's like. All that you know is that his *current* outward appearance matches some internal template you have created.

Since people change the way they look over the years, and the way they basically look is because of their parents genes and not even their own control, love at first sight really doesn't happen. You can fall into lust at first sight, wanting to be with someone because they match what you think a guy or girl SHOULD look like to be great. But again, those templates in your mind are usually created by TV, movies and fairy tales - hardly the things that you want your real life shaped by.

Love is about really knowing what someone is about, how they treat people, how honest and loving and trustworthy and gentle they are. It's about how much they care for YOU and how your connection together is through thick and thin. You don't know *any* of that when you look at someone. All you know is the way they look. Love is something that you develop over time, when you build that trust and respect and caring and reliability.

In any case, it sounds like this kid was very sweet. But he probably looks a lot different, acts a lot different, IS a lot different. If you met him right now, you might not even give him a second glance! I would treasure your childhood love you had, but keep your eyes and heart open for someone that you can REALLY get to know in life, that can be your match. Real matches are made with the heart and the mind, not with the eyeballs.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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