My girl comes home with two hickeys and can't remember how she got them

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
OK i know that you are all busy people but i really need to ask this to people who don't know me or this girl...

We went to elementary school together with me a year ahead of her. She changed to public school before i graduated and we lost touch. Last summer she turns up at my neighbor's house...who is a girl and who went at that time to the same school as her. Anyway from that point on we have continued to become close to one another...she used to be over at my house every Saturday and we would watch tv until like 5 in the morning together. We have become so close that things I am finding out about her are beginning to hurt me. I have found out that soon after she went to the different school she started to smoke, but has stopped now. I have found out from a good friend of mine that she also goes out drinking on occasion with her friends, and while I do not know all that much about who she hangs out with outside of me and my neighbor, i know that not all of them are great people. Anyway, 2 weeks ago my school had our junior prom, and i asked her to it. We went and had a good night. I am thinking now that maybe things are changing between us, and i really want them to because i am completly infatuated with this girl. However, last night she went to a club a bit drunk...she doesnt remember going home but she knows how she got home. She DOES NOT know who gave her 2 massive hickies on her of them is so bad it is just black and blue. The thing is though, she told me what happened, and answered truthfully (or I hope truthfully because she told me on AIM)the questions i asked about things that she said. I am all crushed gut is cold. But i am not mad at her because of how she seemed to be feeling after that happened, she said she feels disgusting.But I am still angry, but i think more at the guy who did that to her in the state she was in than at her. Anyway, my question is: should i be feeling so crushed up over this little incident? i know she has done some stupid things in the past because she has TOLD me, but it still eats me up...i want to ask her out as more than a friend, but should i leave these things be or should i press her on them? i have never had a girlfriend but i know i am feeling more for this girl than any other one i have ever known. Any help in sorting out my feelings is helpful. Advice
This is all wrong for you.

You deserve better than what she is giving you. She should not be going out and getting drunk and not knowing what happened.

It is up to you whether to accept her apologies and promises not to do it again. It sounds like you care enough to trust her again.

But, my advice is to break up with her. She has shown in several ways that she is not to be trusted. So unless she can convince you that she can be trusted again, say goodbye to her.

The way to find out is to have long, serious conversations about what happened and how serious she is about changing her ways.

Sorry you are in this situation. Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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