My Ex Still Fantasizes about Me

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My ex boyfriend and i Broke up over a yr ago after a long stressful time of him being worried about us having to part eventually because i was originaly from overseas and was only on a visa. He wasnt prepared to get too involved to find that i'd leave in the end. we tried many times to be friends but always got close n imtimate...

eventually he started seeing someone else and we both moved on. I took a few months away from him to get over it, as soon as we got back in touch cos it meant alot to both of us to stay friends he started saying things like he couldnt see me for last time b4 i had to leave the country which was a yr since we broke up and since we had seen each other because he would still b tempted to get intimate and that he still fantasises about me n would worry that we would get close and then ild get upset or think wa sonly reason why he wanted to see me, and things would get complicated again n this time we wouldnt be able to be friends after.

we still keep in good touch but it stresses me out cos he says things like being tempted n fantasising and stuff even tho hes with another girls hes been with now for a yr. im confused do you thnk i should take caution as in do you think he still loves me or is just a guy thing for this stuff to happen????? thanks alot Advice
It does sound like he's still fond of you. Apparently he only broke up with you because he was worried about losing you, will is a pretty silly thing if you ask me. If things DID work so well for you while you were together, who knows, maybe you could have gotten married or one of you could have moved or something. You can always work out a solution if you try. Instead he ran away instead of giving it a shot. Not very good.

And now he regrets it, he realizes that you did have a great thing and misses it. But he still doesn't feel like making any effort. So he stays with his "easy" girlfriend, and dreams about the one that got away.

I don't know that there's much you can do about it. It's not like you cheated on him or something. He's the one that ran off because he thought it would be too difficult to try to work it out with you. If he had stayed and tried to work it out, maybe you would have found a solution. But you can't change that in him, and the problem hasn't gone away.

I would be happy in knowing that you are so well thought of, and I'd look to find another guy that actually WILL work for you and the relationship. There is no way a relationship can work if one of you is willing to throw up his hands when trouble presents itself.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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