Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male

I really care for this girl I work with. She is 24, I am 19. On new years, '05, we went out to a local sports bar and celebrated the new year. She bought me some champagne, and we toasted the coming year.

This turned out to be one of the worst nights of my life. SHe told me about how when she was my age, she had gotten involved with an off duty police officer who worked security at her job. A month into it, he had picked her up and taken her to his apartment, pulled out a gun, set it on the table, and they ended up having sex. She didn't want to, but she was scared of the gun. Plus, being young, she thought she was in love. Well, I guess this happened a dozen times or more before she finally got brave enough to say no, then he quit.

Christ, I don't mean to write a book, so long story short, she ended up crying about it, and still to this day cries about it. She has seen a shrink, and was even engaged at one point.

Even longer story short, I know more about what happened than her ex-fiance. What does that mean? Also, I stopped in tonight to say hi and we were talking for a minute and she said "I decided tonight that I am going to quit." I was like "What?! Why?! Wh...when?!" I was genuinely shocked. She just kinda smiled, and continued with her work.

I just want her to know that no matter what, I will always be there for her, and that I would never let anyone hurt her again.

Anyway, sorry to write a friggin essay, but do you think she she has an intrest in me to be telling me all of these personal details of her past or do you think she is just looking for a kind ear. Either way, I'm there for her.

Thank you Advice
It isn't easy to tell whether she has an interest in you.

Obviously she appreciates your kind ear. The best way to find out is to bring the subject up in a non-threatening way. If you care for her, and it appears you do, you could tell her that you are beginning to develop feelings for her. She should have some sort of response to let you know where you stand.

My guess is that she will agree that she has feelings for you too.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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