Flirting with a Shy Girl

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Theres this girl in my class, i really like her, but i have a problem. Im trying to get to know her better and have her as a good friend before i can ask her out. But unfortunately she is shy and i find it hard to talk to her because i am worried about making her nervous.

Furthermore, i cant really hang out with her after school cause she doesnt hang out to much, since shes a shy girl. I need help, what do i do. i really like this girl Advice
Good for you on working to be friends first! That's even MORE important with a shy girl, because you have to show her that she can trust you and talk to you. You have to learn how to talk before you get into dating, because that way when you hit the small bumps in life that we *all* face, you'll be able to get through them. If you just dove into dating when she couldn't even really talk to you, that first bump would send you guys apart.

So look at this as a challenge. Yes, she's shy. And yes, you like her. So it's up to you to teach her how to be less shy. Don't be worried about making her nervous. Friends are about being relaxed with each other. The more you're a friend with her, the more relaxed she will be. So keep talking to her. Tell her about your family and your hobbies. Ask her about her family and hobbies and pets. Share stories about things you've done recently. Just keep "practicing" at talking. The more you do it, the easier it'll get, and soon she'll be comfortable enough with you that the thought of movies, or going out, will be fun ideas and not scary ones.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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