My First Love - I Want Him Back!
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I still have feelings for my ex, how do I go about and tell him? I am afraid that he has totally moved on, but deep inside my heart I know that there is something still between us. I love him so much, and I know this . If he calls i want to call him back as soon as possible! if he comes online, i want to say "hey" right away! Im not obsessed, its just that it was my first real love and i miss him sooo much. We still talk once in a while, but I want to know if he still has feelings for me, or if im just being a nag?
how do I talk to him
OK, first, think about how much time has passed. Are you sure you're really over the breakup and that you're thinking clearly? A lot of times in those first few days or weeks after a breakup you forget about the bad and focus only on the things you really miss. But if you got back together, the bad of course won't go away, and often things only get worse.
So make sure you've really thought about the relationship. What was wrong with it, and what are some concrete steps you could take to make those better. Are you sure that you're not glamorizing the good and are really seeing the *reality* of what you two had.
If you do feel that you could turn over a new leaf, and that your ex would be equally as committed to making this work, then be honest with him. All great relationships are based on honesty and trust. If you can't be honest with him about this, after being *in* a relationship with him for a length of time, then that base was missing. Sit down with him and talk trustingly about what your fears are, what his fears are, and how together you could surmount them. If you both make an agreement to actively address both of your fears, then it'll work!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com