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Love can be put off, never abandoned. --Propertius Sextus



He cheated and he smokes



Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Me and one of my closest friends(also my ex) were hanging out with each other and he started to kiss me- I kinda pushed away and he said that was the kinda response he expected sadly. well a few days earlier I was having a bad day and he said "It's okay, I love you. I hadn't actually realized how much you meant to me until last night when I thought about it." I just kinda shrugged it off cuz I was just thinking about how bad my day had been going, although I do really like him...but he kept saying he loved me almost evry day from them on. I am bst friends with one of his buddy's girlfriends and the day we hung out she came up to me and asked "so waht's up with you and him?" I told her we are really close friends..well then she went on to ask if it was one of those friendships that I thought would turn into a relationship. I said probaby not(because things had been bad when we went out- he cheated on me, and he smokes..which really bugs me) but the way she said it had just made it sound like he had put her up to it, so when we hung out I asked him if he had asked her to ask me anything and he said no, but then tortured it outta me. I ended up telling him I liked him and the whole thing, ad then he was like "Oh, you're turning bright red...you have no clue how much you mean to me...I love you so much, and if I weren't so hell-bent on not dating people right now I wold probably ask you out...but I promise you that I know in the future we are going to be in a relationship and be going out again" well after I had been so emberassed from telling him that, I seriously just think he is saying he likes me so I don't feel pathetic...even though he always said it before I told him, now I am just afraid he's saying it to make me feel better. He also said "and not to bribe you into smoking but if you smoked we would definitely be dating"...I don't understand why that makes a difference, can u please explain? I told him on my way home that he was probably just saying he loved me to make me feel better and he said "I wished you believe me so much" and he also said various other things each of the like 21 times I said that but finally he said "it's ok, you don't trust me, and you shouldn't after what I did, Im sorry" (how he cheated on me). The whole thing almost seemed like he really didn't care wether I believed him or not afta that. Well, that was on a Friday and now it's Sunday...he's usually really busy on the weekends but every single time I have tried to call to talk to him he just says he's busy and can't talk. Seriously, whats the deal?




RomanceClass.com Advice
Since he cheated on you and he smokes, and you have no special desire to date him, why not let it be?

I don't get the feeling that he cares much for you anymore, probably out of pride. I don't think he was thinking of you as pathetic. He is most likely confused with the whole thing just like you.

Give it time, it will sort itself out.

Hope it turns out well for you!
George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





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