Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
hi there...i dont have much time so i'll try to be quick :)...there's a girl that I new for 5 months or so...after i got to know her better i fell inlove with her....I didn't tell her anything but i did different thing to show it to her...She didn't really respond so...i backed up..now..2 years later..we are a group of friends about 6-7 or so and we always hang out together.(she is in it too)so now she probably considers me as a friend...And i always try to help her as i can and be there for her no matter what she thinks or feels about me...(its pretty tough though like when she has a boyfriend or somethin like that,it kills me inside..i get jelous easily but only with her)I'm pretty shy so i haven't tried anything...But i don't have to because i can see that she doesn't feel anything for me...She treats other guys better that she treats me even when they don't treat her as well..The thing is that she sometimes look like she cares about me but then i noticed that she is like that to everyone and even more i can say..Anyway...she often tries to build a relationship with other guys that she likes(mainly if he is goodlooking and stuff like that) or likes what they do...I dont think she is mature enough to see who really care about her..She want love someone that she dates...she will just like him...its like she want to have a boyfriend to feel good with her self...i don't know...what i am trying to say is....I'm always there for her and sometimes this reaaaaaalllllyy hurts...I thought that i could stay with her for ever until she really sees me..I often try to forget her because the pain is unbearable but when i see her again and talk to her i go back to the same road..and then i get hurt again and this happens over and over again..but i survive..(mentaly) i dont know if i have to try to move on or stay with her for ever even if nothing ever happens...i cant forget about her...she is always there...its like i dont want to or i really cant...its like when you're going to buy a house and you really want the one with the swimmingpool and yo end up getting one without ...in all the passing years you will think about that swimming pool and wish you had it...its like your life went wrong and you cant go back...i think she is the one...i cant lose her...i feel it...if i dont manage anythng i'll die trying...
If you are going to have a relationship with her like you want, you will have to be more active in letting her know about your feelings.
This will be difficult as you are a shy person and also because she probably already knows you care about her. She hasn't returned many feelings to you and you are probably not on her radar.
It would probably be better for you to move on and find another girl. However, you seem determined to stick with this one at least for a while. If you want to keep trying, try to find a way to talk with her alone and after becoming closer to her ask her out.
These are not easy things to do, but who said love is easy?
-- from George
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