I want to be number one in his life
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
my boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year and I really, really care about him. I tend to be a jealous person and the fact that he never flirts with any other girls or does anything to spark my jealousy makes ma very appreciative.
However, lately he's been hanging out a lot with his best friend (a guy) who has been his best friend since he was a baby. I can't stand him. I think he is the most arrogant, obnoxious jerk I have met.
My boyfriend hangs out with him everyday and hardly has enough time for me anymore. He tells me that his best friend and me are the two most important people in his life. Equal. He even said that if one of us was going to die and he had to choose, he wouldn't know who he'd pick. This really bothers me. See, I'm the kinda girl that wants to be number one in my guys life. Solely. Am I being crazy and selfish? Aren't I right for wanting to be number one? Not next to his friend...?
From his point of view, you are #1 in his life. His best friend is also #1. Suppose you have kids, which one would be #1... obviously all of them.
If you can't stand this situation, you will have to break up with him.
You do, however, have a natural right to spend time with your boyfriend, so make it clear to him that you need more time alone together.
My guess is that you can't stand his best friend not for the reasons you cited but for the underlying reason that he is taking your boyfriend's attention away from him.
I hope this works out for you.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Friends are Not Threats