Accept that it is over
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I just broke-up about a month ago after being together for two years. We lived to together for a year. He was a student, and I was the sole provider of our household, and I did what I could to help him out. Throughout our relationship we argued quite a bit about the money situation because I was becoming frustrated with the whole situation. When I became frustrated, and felt like he didn't care about my feelings I would throw him out. After a few days, it would blow over and he would return and things would be a little better. We did argue and sometime physical altercation, but he never hit me. It was just a lot of tussling because we were both frustrated. But, my question is I love him very much, and I thought it was just another fight, but he told me that he fell out of love with me sometime ago, and he just came back to try and rekindle. The day he left we had an argument, but I thought he was going to return, he came and moved all his belongings, and after about a week or two we had sex, and he just acted like I never existed in his life. I know I may have been a horrible girlfriend at times because of frustration, but for him to move on so quickly, and hate me. Hurts like hell?
But, he has since moved on with someone else, and he doesn't want any connections with me at all? I don't know how to go on knowing he is with someone else? I don't want to go to any places that we went to, or any areas he goes to because of the fear of seeing them? I need some advice of how to get over this hurt and anger? I still love him and want him back?
The first step in soothing the hurt and anger is to acknowledge to yourself that the relationship is over. Also, you should recognize that the relationship was not a very good one despite your love. Would you want a lifetime of physical tussles, frustration, and breaking up? You two had two years to figure this out and were unable to.
Jump back into life and start enjoying things again. Go out with friends, visit museums, go to bars, or whatever you like doing. Gradually you will begin to lose those bad feelings.
Tell those bad feelings that "It is over, thank goodness, time to move on!"
Pretty soon the feelings will get tired of hearing that and go away.
Hope this helps some!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com