Eternally stuck in untouchable love
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was with my x for a good amount of time. I moved in with him and things were good. He was my bestfriend as well as my lover. I had no friends or family in the area so this made us even closer. Things got rocky and I apparently needed to be on my own for a bit because I pushed the fragile situation our relationship was in till it broke. Luckily after the inital bitter stage we became good friends again. He was still in my life even though he was dating other women. He waited around for me but I tested the waters a little too much. I thought that he would always be there. He then met a women and slowly left my life. The one person in the world I could count on and now someone else is his number one priority. I lost my lover and now I am losing the closest person I had to me. I was ok in the begining. I gave him my blessing and truley hoped she made him happy. Through a few conversations I had with my x I got the impression that she was not making him happy. I 100%, well ok 95%, wanted him to be happy even if it ment I was not the one making him happy. He had a list of bad things and maybe 2 good things about his new relationship. Throughout the weeks I battled with the fact that I was begining to miss him and want him in my life uncontrolablly. I wanted to make sure I was not just being jelouse and I truely wanted him for just him and not the compatition. I finally broke down before they got serious and called him to tell him that I missed him and just let everything spill out that I had inside. He chose her because he was scared I would hurt him again once I got what I wanted and he did care about this new women. I was rejected but figured I could still have him as a friend and I would move on. It has been some time since then and they have moved in together and I am no longer part of his life although we are still on good terms and speak via instent messanger here and there. This is my problem.... With all of that past its understandable that moving on is a hard task but it has been 2 and a half years! I do not go a single day without the want of having him. I compare men to him and have break downs on a normal basis. THis is not healthy. Everyday feels like what it felt like the first day we broke up. I fall in love with him more everytime we speak but I am not willing to cut off that little bit of connection we still have. He is my best friend but he also is what breaks my heart more and more each day. I am so scared that they are going to get married and I will lose all chances. I know he still loves me but I also know he loves her.... How do I stop falling in love with this man. Its been two and a half years. Or better yet.. How do I get him back?
Eternally stuck in untouchable love.
It's been two and a half years and you still love him desperately. I am very sorry you are in this situation.
You need to find a professional counselor or therapist (look in your phone book there are plenty). Work hard at getting him out of your mind because the odds are very much against a miracle happening.
Hope you find a good counselor and you become happy again!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com