Flirty guy sends mixed messages

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Me and my ex are really good friends and I still like him. In general he is a very flirty guy to almost every girl I know, so it is hard to tell if he likes me or not. We tried being friends with benefits a couple of times and the last time he told me he loved me...he said it really quietly like he was afraid I would respond badly but I am afraid he meant just as a friend. I sometimes mention other guys names or guys that I wanna "go out with"- cuz we are really close and although it's him I really like I wanna see how he will respond. Well, once I mentioned this guy's name and said that I thought he was gonna ask me out- well I had been having a really bad month and for the most part I was depressed but I acted really happy about this guy and then the next day I told him it didn't work out and went back to being upset. Well, he said "I'm kinda glad it didn't... I wasn't used to you being all happy but now that things are back to normal it's okay...I like it better this way". BUt then another time I was with him and asking a friend who she was gonna ask to this dance at my school(it was where the girls ask the guys) and she said well I was thinking about asking you(to my ex, the guy I like) and he said don't ask me cuz I'm not going with you, and then he told me very bluntly not to ask him wither. he sends so many mixed signals...what should I do? Advice
My advice is to wait a while until he is in a better mood and ask him to the dance. He was probably embarrassed about saying no to the other girl.

Generally, he sounds rather immature. If you want to make progress with him, you will need to figure things out for him. Also, try to develop a close communication with him since that is one of the more important parts of a good relationship (along with love, trust, respect, and mutual aid).

Judging from what you've said about him, I suggest you not waste much time on him as he is insensitive and immature.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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