I miss my ex, but he's staying true to his best friend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've known this guy for about 3 years now, and I've been in love with him ever since I met him. He and I have been really close friends ever since we met and have went out before, but at the time that he asked me out I was dating his best friend. I really liked him so I dumped his best friend for him. We dated for about a month and he broke-up with me because he said he couldn't do that to his best friend.
I was still madly in love with him and could think of nothing else. I'm still waiting to get him back. I know there is other fish in the sea, but there is something about him that I can't let go of.
I've been turning down everyone that has asked me out for about 3 months now, and have only had about 3 boyfriends since my crush and I broke-up. The three boyfriends that I had didn't last long, and I broke-up with all of them just to wait on my crush.
I love him so much, but I don't know what to do.I don't want to spend the rest of my life wanting and needing him if I can't have him, but I love him too much to give up.
Please help me and tell me any advice you have. Thanks.
It's actually a really good sign that he treasures his friendship with this other guy so much. Someone that is that loyal and concerned about friends is the ideal sort of person to have as a partner in life.
It's very, very common for friends to interdate and date each other's ex's. The people you are friends with are people with common interests, who you spend time together with and so on. So while it was noble for your ex to break up with you, to just ignore you forever because of that one dating incident is a bit extreme.
I would get back in touch with him and say that you want to go out for drinks or something. Just as friends. Renew the friendship you had and show him that he can keep his other friend AND be close to you too. The two aren't mutually exclusive. Once he gets that idea working in his head, you can move it along so that you get close again.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com