Hiding things from me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. About 6 months ago he was hiding the fact that he talked to a female friend. We talked about it and assured me that hiding things from me was not right and he would not do it again. About a month ago I found out that an old high school female friend of his went through a divorce and they have been talking regularly for about 6 months. He had never even mentioned her to me in all that time. Again, we had the conversation about hiding and he said he would no do it anymore, that the only reason he hadn't told me is he thought I would get jealous and we would fight (he is a very non confrontational person). He even took me out and I got to meet this person. After that according to hime she just stopped calling and they stopped talking. He made excuses like they both were too busy. I found out 2 days ago he has still been talking to her and has been lying about it. He has never out right lied before. I told him I was going to leave him and now he's just promising me the same old thing and I don't know if he's being sincere. He said again this time that he just thought I would get mad at him. I just don't know whether to believe him or not. I do love him and want things to work. Do you think he will keep his promise? Would it be fair of me to ask him to just not speak to her anymore to make things easier? Please Help!
He should not be hiding things from you. Honesty and trust are two of the most important parts of a relationship.
Tell him you don't care if he talks to her as long as he lets you know each time that it happens. You can even ask him each day if he talked to her.
If he persists in his failure to keep you informed, my advice is to dump him since you can't trust him. Explain all this in advance to him.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com