Jealousy causes friction
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. Two days after we actually got together he cheated on me. If I had found out right away I would have broken up with him right away, no problem. The problem was that I didn't find out until 3 months into the relationship, and I found out from my friends who all found out from the girl. He found out I knew before I even told him from one of my friends who told me about it. He immediately apologized and said that we had only been together for like two days and he didn't know how much he really cared for me. I'm not a very trusting person to begin with so of course it took me a long time for me to get any trust back for him. I thought I trusted him so I told him that I did. He says he'll never do it again and I believe that he really loves me. I really love him but I always worry about where he is, who he's with, or what he's doing. I just don't know how I can shake the jealousy thing. I know it's wrong but I worry whenever I see him even talk to someone with a vagina. He told me that we need to work on it because our relationship can't possibly work if I dont trust him. Without trust we dont have anything but I'm just so worried that he's going to make another mistake and I dont know how to get past it.
The key to this is what you said: "I'm not a very trusting person." You have to break the habits of jealousy and not trusting.
The best way to do it is to wait until a jealous though arises and say to it: "He is my boyfriend and he loves me and won't cheat on me." Do this everytime a jealous feeling arises and pretty soon the thoughts and feelings will give up since they no longer have a hold on you.
Think of them as mosquitos and smack them whenever they buzz in your ear.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com