Am I paranoid or what

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because we just didn`t get along so well. He lied to me alot and there was just alot of fighting and drama. Now we`re still friends, not best friend, but we remain civil. When we were together he had told me that he had a small crush on my best friend. 2 weeks later he said he couldnt stand her and ever since then I`ve had this paranoid feeling that they have been talking and hanging out. Now its 2 years later and every time the both of them are missing I get this feeling in the pit in my stomach that they are together. I don`t know what to do with this every time I tried to talk to him about it we fought and then when I finally spoke to my friend about it she said she was upset that I would ever think that of her and that she would never do anything like that to me because "what could she possibly want with my ex boyfriend". Now I know I can`t talk to them because I just dont believe them when they tell me that its not true. Please help me this is driving me out of my mind and its interrupting my whole life. I think about it at work, school, even at home I have nightmares about them being together. Is this just me being paranoid or should I really worry? Advice
Yes you are being paranoid. It's been two years now since you have been broken up and even if they were seeing each other it's none of your business. To get rid of these paranoid, jealous feelings do this-- every time one of those feelings arises say to yourself "It's been two years now and it doesn't matter." Keep saying that every time the thought comes up... pretty soon the thoughts and feelings will just give up because they are not yanking your chain anymore.

If you have access to a school psychologist or a counselor, you might consider getting some help. You have a real problem which might be too strong for my advice above to work. Please do something, you really need help.

My best wishes to you,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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