Ex and new girlfriend don't get along
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I have a problem regarding my ex girlfriend. you see, we broke up on good terms, mutually decided that we were going to split up because we had both moved in different directions in our lives. She said that i was not successful enough, and I said she was not truly right for me if money meant more to her than me. I had a job,lived by myself, and did pretty well. I was not poor by any means. I'll admit, was more her choice than mine to seperate, but it was not and had not been going well for quite some time. we had been together for 4 years almost to the day that we broke up. Anyway, about 3 months later I started dating someone that was a mutual aquaintance of ours, and the ex freaked out. started blaming me for cheating on her while we were together (not with mutual friend,though)and being less than cordial when i see her around. Well, fast forward 1 year and a few months. I now live with the "mutual aquaintance" and i am in a very serious, comitted relationship with her. And even after a year, the ex still does not even acknowledge my presence when we run into each other. she blames my current girlfriend for breaking us up to steal me(she was one of the people she went to for advice when she was ready to leave me)and is making my current relationship difficult because we see her quite frequently. The current gf and the ex have almost gotten in physical fights on a few occasions. To make a long story short, i want to have a cordial relationship with my ex because i really do care about her as a person and would like to talk to her every once in a while. no romance, nothing like that. I have no feelings for her at all, i just want to know how shes doing. And, i want all of this hostility to end between the ex and my girl, because they used to be friends. Is this possible, or am i asking to have my cake and to eat it too?
You are in a tough situation. The key is, as you stated above, to get your ex to become a more cordial person to you and your girlfriend.
Give her a phone call and explain to her that you would be happier with a better relationship and to let bygones be bygones.
Your ex sounds like she has problems with self-control and could use some counseling... I wouldn't mention that to her, however.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com