Lies caused breakup

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
He and I have been together for four months, and we were in love. I am well aware of why we broke up, and I take the blame. I am active duty in the military, and I am gay. I lied to him, just like I lied to everyone else I had met since I joined the military. I had made up a past, one that was an exaggeration of my real past, but still a lie. He found out and left me. I have now told everyone the truth, that I am not who they thought I was. Most of my friends understand and have given me a second chance. I am ashamed, I am getting help and coming clean for the lies I have told. He wants nothing to do with me. He hasnt said its over over, he said he needs a while to deal with it. Today is March 11, this happened Feb 22. I have written a letter to him to explain, and to tell him what I had lied about. I also made it clear, that there was alot I didn't lie about, and I understand why he questions the "i love you"s etc. I want to know how I can make him know that I am a better man than the one he loved. That I am working very hard to be honest and to try and fix all the trust I have broken. I love him dearly, more than anyone, and I want to let him know how sorry I am for hurting him. That should give you the jist of the story, thank you for your time. Advice
Tell him you what you said above. The best thing you can do is to be extremely truthful from now on. He may return to you but obviously may not. My best wishes are with you.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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