Taming the jealous beast
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male
I'm feeling jealous. My wife is VERY attractive and gets lots of attention although she never looks for it. Generally,we're happy and married 19 years.
Recently she was out of town with friends and I became jealous because a man approached her. She told him she was a married lady and while he's welcome to talk and hang out, not to get the wrong idea. He was fine with that. He ended up hanging out for hours talking with my wife and the couple she was with, although mostly to my wife. They danced to a couple fast songs and just socialized. She told me he was a really nice guy.
The next day, before heading home, my wife's friends were interested in seeing the campground this man had been staying at. He had told them all about it and as they enjoy camping they wanted to see it. They, with my wife, drove through the place to check it out. The guy was not there and my wife claims they weren't looking for him but admits it was a possibility they might come accross him and his friends, male and female. She said if they had seen them it would have been OK as they had fun hanging out the night before.
I was very angry/jealous. On the way home from the airport,my wife told me all about the people she met, including the guy. She lied about going to the campground though because I wasn't handling the situation very well. I found out from our friends at a later date that they went there. I'm sure my wife enjoyed a little attention from the guy. It must have made her feel good. I think too that it was not a good idea to check out the campground the next day.
She insists she did nothing wrong and that they were just being friendly and talking. She says she would never have lied tome either if I hadn't backed her into a corner. My insecurities are haunting me with the " what if's" She is a very good woman but this scared me. Is it normal to enjoy the attention from a person you know is interested in you? I don't expect her to be a prude or rude to people but I thought she would just tell the guy she wasn't interested in talking and to move on. The strange thing is I would hae the done the same as she did. I keep telling her though that once a guy has made his feelings known to a woman, it's hard to just be "pals"
My opinion is that you are over-reacting. Jealousy is a terrible habit to be in and you should work hard at getting rid of those feelings. One way is to confront the feelings whenever they arise by saying to yourself "She loves me and not anyboy else." After being rejected a number of times, the jealous feelings will go away.
Both men and women are sociable animals and will enjoy talking with someone of the opposite sex. There is nothing wrong with that. I don't think you should worry about it any more.
Best of luck!
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!
She's Out of Line