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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. -- Judy Garland

Was it just a fling?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Soo my best guy friend and I have had a history. First off we were really good friends for a year and I had the feeling that he liked me more then a friend and eventually we took our friendship to the next level and became 'friends with benefits'. Of course I became waay too attached to him and wanted more but we never really discussed that issue. The worst part was having his family, especially his Mother, tell me how we should get together and his Sister would always say that she would love to have me as a Sister! Anyways not very long ago he fell for this girl who is much younger then him, 10 years younger in fact. It took close to a year but he finally was able to convince her Mother that he could date her daughter and they are presently going out at the moment. It broke my heart of course when I realized that he really liked this girl and started going out with her as an official couple. Our friendship dwindled as a result of it and we don't hang out anymore really or talk on the phone etc. like we use too. That and he acts differently when he's with this girl. He gets quiet and won't tease and pick on me like he usually does when she's not around. And even though I came to terms with the fact that he likes this girl I still get upset with the fact that he can't be himself when he is with her. So the past couple of months we've really drifted apart and haven't seen much of each other at all. Then last weekend we hung out for alittle bit one night and it was just like old times; of course his girlfriend wasn't there. Soo the other night I went out to his house to visit him..it was just him and we hooked up. Now I've never ever cheated before...regardless if I've been single or not, which I am. But I can't believe he would do something like that either. As I've seen just how much he really likes this younger girl he's dating. And I've always thought he's had feelings for me too but was always too shy to tell me about them. So the night that we hooked up I asked him if I made him nervous. And he was like ya you do. So I was like well why? And he goes well not really nervous, I don't know how to explain it. So that confused me alittle?? Maybe he still does like me but doesn't know what to do about it?? So do you have any advice on where this story is heading?? Was I just an old hook-up friends with benefit fling or do you think he still has feelings for me??? I'd appreciate any and all help on this matter, thanks!

RomanceClass.com Advice
It's hard to say for sure. My guess is that it was a fling... some men are weak when it comes to women. Ask him directly and find out. I think it is unlikely he intends to dump her for you, but you never know.

Clearly he still likes you, but you need to find out how much he likes you.

Good luck!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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