My Ex Seems to Want me Back
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Okay well what happened was my ex and I just recently started talking again. Last night we went to hang out with each other and I started to have all these feelings for him. He seemed really comfortable at my house and it was like he was having fun with me again. We went out to dinner to talk and just talked to each other about what we've been doing and how we've changed. He said it seemed like I had gotten to be a better person.
So when we got to my house I asked him to go out on a date and he said we'll see. I just want to know is it possible that he still has feelings for me. What should I do about this? He wanted to know what my underware looked like and he was tickling me and sitting on my lap like he used to. What does this mean?
I have to admit I was amused to hear *he* thinks *you* are a better person now. Couples break up because BOTH halves have issues, not just one. Hopefully he also thinks HE is a better person now too, and more deserving of you :)
In any case, that aside, it does sound like whatever attracted you two to each other before is still there, and you're still friends and able to hang out and enjoy each other. Which is great! It's also good that you're talking about how you are different than before - that the issues you had before may now be addressed.
He's probably still a bit worried that whatever broke you up before will happen again, and also that if you date you'll lose your friendship if things go wrong. So that's the thing to focus on. Go out to dinner with him as a friend, not as a date. And bring up the issue! Talk about whatever you broke up over. Talk about ways you'll avoid the issue this time, by addressing whatever the cause was. And talk about how all great relationships are built on friendship so your friendship is really important, no matter what happens. If you were able to be friends after the last breakup, there's really no risk.
I bet if you talk through those things, you'll soothe his fears. He's already shown he still likes you, and it seems you still like him. So it's worth a shot, and now that you have more experience and knowledge about the potential 'trouble spots' in your relationship, you can do a better job of handling them this time around.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com