Give it time

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male

Okay...I don't normally do this but I don't know where else to go. This gets kind of complicated so stick with me.

Okay... my girlfriend and I went out for 11 months..she broke up with me and told me that she needed time for herself before she continues in a relationship with me because she has always had a boyfriend before me and doesnt want to feel as though she always needs to have a boyfriend (I understand). This hurts..especially since it was just 16 days short of 1 year and 2 days short of my birthday. Regardless... she cried to me about it and continues to cry but insists that she has to do it...she even kisses me every now and then and tells me she loves me still. Yet she tells me to move on with my life because she has no set deadline for when this feeling of lack of independence is going to go away (She estimated two months). Anyway...I see her being nice to guys and talking to this one guy a lot, and I'm trying to figure out what she is doing? She insists he is just a friend (he is part of a new group of friends she made because her last friends back stabbed her), but I see them talk and im pretty sure he likes her cause he is always touchin her like flirtatiously and looks at her butt when she doesnt see him. Im not sure if she is encouraging him but perhaps she is. She keeps telling me she loves me yet she leaves me during lunch time and goes to hang out with this guy and his friends. What's going on? Is she trying to have two guys at once? Is she confused? Please help? She also lied to me about goin to the movies with this same group of friends...including this jose guy, with whome she took pictures..not to mention she went to see a scary movie..she hates scary movies..unless she wasnt watching it.. if u get my drift...ive asked her and she insists she has not kissed anyone at all, and she isnt even interested in anyone.

Please help... give me an analysis on what she is doing? I dont understand? What should I do?

I am 17 years old. Advice
She is doing what she wants to do... enjoying some independence. And, you said you understand that. You seem to have a good relationship with her, so the first thing you want to do is to maintain that good friendship. Don't hassle her about flirting with other guys.

Since you still care about her and she cares about you, the best thing to do is to give her the time she has requested and be there waiting for her. She will appreciate you for it and will hopefully come back to you soon.

Hope things turn out well for you!

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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