I'm trying to take it slow, but this guy is a turtle!
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
So i really like this guy, and he started giving me mixed signals - anyway...i'm becoming friends with his best friend and his friend told me that the guy i like has never had a girlfriend before. (btw i'm a senior in high school) his friend also told me that he could make me and that guy i like to hook up.
when he asked me if i wanted him to do that for me..i just kinda hesitated. coz i really don't want his friend to hook us up..i want the guy i like to do it. so the convo about the guy i like kinda faded away...and now i'm stuck on what to do. i'm not a virgin and i've had a few boyfriends. he's never had a girlfriend and i heard he's only received oral sex. so now i'm not sure what to do?
this year i told myself to be less aggressive due to the fact i tend to move too fast and get hurt because i let guys use me. so far i've been doing really well with this guy, basically letting him make the moves. but he's really slow at it and i'm afraid it might be the fact that he's never really had a girlfriend before and he's a pretty quiet guy to begin with.
so my question for you guys is..what should i do with him? should i ask his friend for advice on how to get the guy? should i start making the moves? should i have his friend take initiative and hook us up? or should i just let time pass? i really like this guy and i'm pretty sure he likes me...so i was wondering what the best way to handle this without the guy using me or me getting hurt by it? any help on this situation will do! thank u so much!
First, good for you for being cautious about using his friend as a go-between. Using friends to hook you up or pass along information is a REALLY bad idea. All sorts of messages can be mixed up when you do that. It's always best to deal directly with the person, even if it's hard or takes a while. That effort is what really makes a relationship that lasts.
So yes, he's slow. It sounds like he's inexperienced. There's nothing that says you have to wait for him to make the move. We're not talking about you jumping into bed with him - just going on a date!
Keep talking with him, hanging out with him. Suggest you see a movie together, choose something fun you'll both enjoy. The next time, get dinner and a movie. Don't make them stressful "dates" if he's scared of those, just go as a friends. I think you'll find after you start spending friendly time like that together, that he'll get used to the idea and things will work out well.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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