Letting him down easy
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Hello, thankyou so much for helping me with this. Me and my boyfriend were living together for a year & we broke up because of relationship issues, I felt he might be cheating & he was never home with me but I loved him more than anything. After we broke up he had sex with one of my friends which really hurt me but a month or so later we gave "us" another chance, it was alright but I still felt like he wasn't giving me his all & why should I be putting in all this extra effort when he's the one who hurt me, so we ended up breaking up again, I cried everyday but didn't call him or try to get back with him. For a couple months I was okay I got a new boyfriend & was happy but I started daydreaming of me & my ex EVERYDAY, he was all I could think about. So 6 months after we broke up I told his brother how I felt & he told him. He immediatley called me to set something up & we started hanging out, It was awesome. He ended up having to go away for 4 months so we wrote everyday about how much we loved each other. Which I really did mean all the sweet things I wrote to him. Once he got back he needed somewhere to stay & I live by myself so he stayed with me which we had always lived together so no big deal, but now my feelings have changed I still have love for him but I dont want to live together.. I just found my independence & I dont want to give it up yet im still young and feel like I have alot to do still so I broke up with him. Which puts him in a bad spot living wise & also he is so hurt I dont know what to do. Sometimes I feel so bad I almost want to just say ok lets get back together instead of thinking of what I want. But I feel selfish that im not thinking of him. He's never been this loving & awesome and now I dont even feel the same. I feel like something is wrong with me before if he'd act like this I'd be in heaven & he wants to try so hard but its not what I want.. how could I let him down easy so he wont hate me forever and should I try harder instead of putting myself first? Am I being selfish?
You are not being selfish, you are just letting your real feelings out. That's a good thing. Letting him down easy is going to be rough. Do you know of any places he could live if he leaves your place? In any case, let him know in a caring way that you recognize that he is being very good to you but it just isn't working out. See our tips on how to breakup at: http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveSCat/47
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com