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Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My bf of 11 yrs has recently become obsessed with online porn and live webcams where he can interact with the girls on the other side of the camera. He has also been signing up at singles sites listing his self as single and looking for women! He lies to me about these activites. I installed a keylogger on our computer to see just how much he was lying to me. and what I discovered broke my heart. we are not together right now, when I confronted him on these things he still lied to me even when I showed him the proof he just blamed me and said I wasnt looking at it right and that I was crazy! what he was doing is cheating. he was having sexual meetings with these on line webcam girls, discussing sex and they would preform what he asked on camera. plus he was paying money to do this. I am a very sexual person, I have never told him no and tried to get him to do different things but he never would. he has always been a prude so to speak when it came to sex, at least with me. he tries to make me think that his activites are all my fault, (he knows how much this hurts me) and that I am just crazy, that what he is doing is nothing, and he wouldnt lie about it, if I didnt get mad about it,(he lied to me in the beginning, i tried to explain that the lying and sneaking around is what has caused this reaction, i asked him to watch it with me ..no he wont) so I dont know what to do, he has lied so much that i dont think i could ever trust him again. I love him, but has there just been too much damage to fix or is he just not interested in me anymore? he dont seem to hurt over the break up!
My first advice would be to dump him as a liar and cheat. My second advice, if you don't like the first is to go with him to a sexual therapist. If he won't go, go by yourself.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com