He goes too far in his flirting
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Here is my question. After being with my husband for 9 years, he left me for another woman. So I will admit that I am insecure. In the past year I have fallen in love with one of our mutal friends. This isn't a problem, just a bit of history on where J as I will call him, and I got together. We have been living together for 6 months and can't imagine being apart. We have known each other of 7 years and he was my best "male" friend. He is wonderful to my 2 sons and treats me well except for 1 thing. His ex girlfriend who I will call Jane, keeps sending him very sexual text messages and he in turn was replying. He didn't know that I knwe the extent of there text messages but after numerous times of begging him to stop this relationship, he just became more careful in trying to hide it. I wouldn't have a problem with them being friends, but until 3 years ago, they were casual sex friends, even though she has had the same boyfriend for 5 years. So finally I blew up and told him that I knew exactly what was going on and who was saying what and he begged me to forgive him and said he was a idiot for being a flirt, but that's all it was - was flirting! Jane knows who I am, knows that J and I are together and still continues to message him and call him. Everything on his phone was fine until I noticed he called her, only a 28 second call, so probably got her voicemail...Not knowing what to do, I threw his phone in the sink and wrecked it. I feel horrible for what I did and never did tell him that I knew how it got broken. But I believe that what they were doing is a form of cheating. Or am I being way too insecure about this all. He says he has waited his whole life for me and that he was in love with me for the pst 5 years. He is perfect in most ways except this big one. Is there any hope to fix this even if he keeps trying to do this behind my back?
He is going too far with his flirting. Tell him he is hurting you and endangering your relationship. You have been pretty good about this so far, but it is obviously upsetting you. If he cares about you he should be willing to give up this flirting. Get the message to him.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com