She's Closed when We're Alone

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
This is my delema. I met this wonderfully beutiful girl about a month ago and I have liked her ever since we first talked. We have spent a considerable amount of time together, yet the majority of the time has been within groups of friends. When we are around other people she seems very closed and un-responsive to me, just plain shy. I cant really get any good conversation out of her like I can when we are alone and even when we are alone it seems like there is an akwardness that we cant break through. Yet I know we both want to and I know for a fact or at least I hope it is fact that she has interest in me beyond just friendship. Mainly because I constantly catch her looking at me and when are eyes meet it sets me on "fire."

She calls me consistantly and has also visited me at my work a few times to say hi. So I cant understand why she would go out of her way to spend time with me if she wasnt interested. Is she just waiting for me to initiate or playing hard to get. If she is she is doing an awsome job! Its almost like we both want to move beyond what we have know but for some strange reason I am finding it hard to get things rolling.

I just dont want to screw this one up. So my main concern is how to move beyond the clumsy friendship we have presently and get on with what we both want. I know it seems like the anwser is obviously right in font of me (just make the move) but I dont want to do that and then ruin our friendship or make it more akward than it already is. But I also dont want to wait to long for her to lose interest and see me as weak. Please Help and thankyou for your time. Advice
It sounds like she's nervous when she's with you alone and isn't sure of what to talk about. Which makes it sound like you really have to work on your friendship. Good friends get along well because they are comfortable talking together and they share interests to talk about. Find out what her interests are, and share your own. Talk about each others' families. Also, it's not like you have to talk constantly. Good friends can just hang out together without non-stop chatter and be quite happy.

Build that level of comfort together, and things will be fine. But it doesn't just happen! You need to make an effort to get her to know you better, so that she's not worried about what she says or does in your presence.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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