Wants to date friends girlfriend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My problem is a much larger one than the question will seemingly be addressing, but it is a very rough situation in which i have found myself in and am having significant troubles determining what i should do. Within the last two months I have fallen for my best friends crush. But she is more that just a crush to him, she is the love of his life, or so I am led to believe. unfortunetley she does not feel the same way about him. She has actually had a crush on me for quite sometime now.. Whenever we used to hang out, it would make my friend uncomfertable and nervous, but as time has passed, I've come to really enjoy everything about her and want to take it to the next level. This is where the dilemna becomes visible. I know my friend will be upset and extremely hurt if he finds out that i and this girl want to date. He is out of the picture for a couple of months abroad, but I wouldn't want to go behind his back. This girl really does mean a lot to me, and I told him that, but friends in my life come first. What do I do??? I know i need to talk to him, and I have, but I'm just not sure what to do still. If he says he is uncomfertable with the situation, should i let go, or is what is in my heart worth pursuing? I've waited a long time to find a girl like this one and it just seems unfair. I would appreciate some advice, insight, anything that could help me through this. I greatly appreciate it.
If you are serious when you say "friends in my life come first," then you have answered part of your question. The next part is something you need to finalize with your friend. Ask him to definitively say whether it is ok for you to date this woman. If he says "yes" you are all set. If he says "no" then you have to really decide whether "friends in my life come first." Also, it isn't clear to me whether the woman is ready to move to the next level... my advice is based on the understanding that she is.
Hope this helps,
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com