Changing Who You Love

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I have this girl that really loves me and she would give the world for me and i would give her the world to but their is another girl that i have feeling for but that i dont wanna like. I want the girl that is in love with me because i loved her and i still do in many ways. is their anyway to make me fall fully back in love with this girl and basically eliminate the other girl. If so please help this is very important? Advice
Love is an emotion, it's not something you can really turn on or off. You might know logically that spiders are just harmless little creatures with 8 legs, but you can still be frightened out of your mind when one drops on you in bed at night. You can logically know that you "should" love one girl and not love another, but your heart doesn't take orders.

If you don't fully love this first girl, it can't just be for no reason. There must be reasons that you are not fully able to commit to her. Be truthful with yourself and examine the relationship realistically. What exactly about it is not really great for you? A relationship needs to be completely open and honest, and that includes you admitting to yourself the realities of your hopes and fears.

It seems this other girl represents something to you that's lacking in the first girl. Think about that. Maybe neither girl is perfect for you and somewhere out there is a girl that has a bit of both of these girls, that has everything you need. You need to make that decision. But it's definitely not a good idea to go into a relationship with someone if you're feeling the entire time that they're not good enough. That's not fair to you OR to her. She deserves to have someone that really and truly believes she's the best, and that might be you, but if it's not, there will be someone else that DOES feel that way about her.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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