Quite a mess!
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Dear Dr. Ruth,
I am writing this letter to you in pure desperation. As you say in some of your responses, "you are in quite a mess!", well I can go ahead and say it for you, I am in QUITE A MESS!!! It's quite confusing, so allow me to make things simpler for you. I dated this guy for 2 years, and we broke up for some stupid reason that I don't even remember. We had a long distance realtionship for 2 years, and saw each other only 3 times, but we made it work and we were madly in love with each other. Even though we broke up a year and a half ago, we still talk to each other sometimes and tell each other we miss each other and want to give it another try if the opportunity comes along. On the other hand I am dating this great guy, but I'm not sure if I love him or if I'm in love with him...and we have been dating for a year and a half. I am in love with two guys...and to make it more confusing... I am going off to college and I have my choices narrowed down to 2 colleges...one is going to one, and the other is going to the other one. I don't know what to do now...because the colleges are basically the same...and instead of choosing colleges, it's like choosing guys. What should I do? I have know guy X for almost 4 years, and I can still say from my heart I love him. But I haven't seen him in almost 2 years...andI love the guy Z I am with now....but I can't ever get guy X off of my mind and I always compare them to each other. PLEASE HELP ME! This is driving me crazy...
Thank you so much for your time and consideration...
I would try very hard to meet the guy from two years ago to make sure that you really still care for him. You have to visit the campus so why not see him then? In another direction, tell the two of them the predicament you are in and see how they respond. After all, you want to be able to communicate openly and honestly with whichever one you choose. Perhaps one wants to back out and the other doesn't. Or both might back out-- then that would be QUITE A MESS! Are you sure you will be accepted by both places? That is another consideration. Perhaps you should make sure that you are accepted before making up your mind.
-- from George
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