Be patient and practice talking

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
(I am 15 years old.) Before my ex and I got together, we had only really talked online, and had only seen eachother in person several times. I knew his little brother, and that's how he got my screenname. Then, we started being able to see other every day for a few hours (in an extra-curricular activity). We both liked eachother (but we didn't know that), and so we were always too shy to talk to eachother in person. After about two weeks of this, we finally told eachother we liked eachother . However, since we didn't really know eachother that well, we decided to wait to get to know eachother better. But he ended up asking me out two days later , on the night of Valentine's Day. Not thinking, I said yes. We went on our first date the next day, and we both had a lot of fun. Of course, we saw a musical, and so there was no pressure to start up a conversation. Over the next few weeks, we would be completely shy in person, but jabber online. We could tell that this was not healthy. We would hint to eachother that we needed to talk more in person. After about a month, our extra-curricular activity ended, and we were only able to see eachother every other night for a few seconds. We never talked on the phone or went on dates, just online. About two weeks later, we finally went on our second date, which was, again, seeing a musical. But it was still extremely awkward during intermission, etc. The next day, he broke up with me, complaining that it was too awkward and that we don't see eachother enough. I agreed, but I still put up a fight, saying that I loved him. I knew this was a mistake, because it just pushed him further away. Over the next few days, I tried to tell him that I was just upset that night and said a lot of things that I didn't mean, but I don't think he believed me. He said that we could still be friends, and that some time, if we get to know eachother better, we can try getting together again. I tried to stay in touch with him, but I could tell that I was annoying him. So I just stopped talking to him. 7 months later, he finally got another girlfriend. They are still together now. I don't really talk to him much, because I'm so scared I'll annoy him even more. We've seen eachother in person several times, and every time, he seems to be extremely flirtatious towards me, but that may just be the way that he is. He has been showing some signs that's he's getting less annoyed with me/feeling closer to me, and he called me awhile ago, just to "talk". I'm wondering if the not-bothering-him is making him feel more comfortable... I would really like to get to know him better, so that he'll see the real me and maybe want to get back together again... but how? Thank you, and I'm so sorry for making this so long! Advice
Sounds like you are doing the right thing by not calling him. It seems to have taken the pressure of him and now he thinks of you and calls you. It is not uncommon for people to have a great time online but then when they meet they feel uncomfortable. But, the key to having a good relatationship is being able to communicate (in person) openly and honestly. Just talking about your feelings should fill up a month non-stop... after all, your brain keeps on thinking and has no awkward pauses. Get used to getting what is in your brain to come out your mouth. Practice with your parents or friends.

Good luck,

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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