Communicating
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My partner and I have been together for almost a year and a half and I don't feel the intimacy anymore that we shared during the first few months of dating. I moved in with my partner after the first 5 months b/c I had nowhere else to live. We have talked about this before and I tried on bringing it up again but he just says the same thing that he needs space and it is me moving in with that is part of the problem b/c he wasn't ready for me to live with him but it was either me live with him or me being out on the streets. I can't afford to live anywhere else b/c I am still a college student and it is either living with him or being out on the streets and he doesn't want me to be out on the streets. I try to get intimate with him, with my body language and everything but it still doesn't work, he has had rough past few years and I think that is part of the problem. I don't know what else to do? My patience is starting to run out. I love him and odn't want to lose him but I beginning to think that I am wasting my time. Please help me!
Sincerely,
Feeling unloved
RomanceClass.com Advice
You are not likely to get anywhere with him wanting space and you wanting to be closer. Please have good, honest talks with him for at least an hour once a week. Explain your feelings to him and don't let him get away with the "I don't want to talk... I need my space." That is almost no relationship and is why you are feeling unwanted. Be very careful in starting the communication because it sounds like he doesn't want to talk. But do it! On the other hand, if you push him too much, he may want you to move out which puts you in a tough situation. This is not an easy situation to deal with. Think hard about how best to get him talking. If you share your feelings about something off topic, that may be the best way to get him to open up. Once he is comfortable communicating you can slowly move the focus to you two.
Good luck,
George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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